The One Simple Skill That Will Transform Your Business - Day 4

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Hey, there it is me again. We'll start with occupancy where we strive. To inspire change, impact lives and improve outcomes every single day. And what we do when we are working with the agent adult. And family caregivers. Hey there. This is Tiffany again. What start with occupancy and I am here to really uncover 21 things you need to know about senior living when it comes to sales and marketing. And so we are on day number four. Um, and I am excited to share with you, um, one of the things that I have found to be a challenge for people, believe it or not, um, because. And I say for people, I'm talking about the people inside the community who is talking to family, caregivers and or residents. And this one skill. Is the thing that. It seems. That people have to practice over and over and over again to master. And so what does that look like? And what skill am I talking about? Mastering the art of active listening. I am telling you that sounds really crazy because you're like everybody has ears. Everybody can hear. Everybody can hear, but everybody doesn't listen. Right. I mean, you know this right? And so when a family caregiver is talking. My question is what state of mind are you in? All right. So this is the whole thing is that I have found. Doing hundreds, probably of mystery shops. Um, and meaning not just mystery shops that I went on. Um, as a, you know, As a couple, like a family caregiver or whatever, have you. But mystery shops that I have actually had to monitor. Remember I was a regional of sales and marketing over anywhere. I think the smallest. Uh, grouping of communities I had was, um, 10. Yeah, I think it was 10 or 11. And the largest, when you add it into my bonus, communities was 15. So, and I, you know, long story, but whatever. So on average, I had anywhere between 10 and 15 communities. With multiple salespeople. Across this community. Some communities have two people. Some of them had only one. And then with turnover. And so I had to constantly monitor. Sales professionals in this industry. And go out and shop others. And I have had the amazing pleasure. Of listening and all their calls and listening in on the actual visits or being with people on their visits. And the one thing I will say. When we had, uh, aggregated all the data. From across the country. Um, within one company. Um, Only. Like 60. 5% of the people. Had actually listened to what the family was saying. What does that tell you? That tells you there's an open door and an open window. You know, um, of. For you. As an individual operator. Um, as a residential owner. Um, as a sales professional, who's new in the industry. If you can master the art of active listening. You can bridge the gap. And build the foundation of having an amazing relationship with family caregivers who come in and or possible residents. To convert into an actual move in, into your community where you get to take care of an aging adult. And that is what I love. Right. So, um, What we're going to talk about is how active listening. Kind of builds trust and also show families that you care because when people feel heard. They feel valued. Right. Um, I did do a cup of a three-part episode, actually one and two was on one episode and the third was another one you can look back. I don't have that many episodes, so you can look back and see, it says how to connect with families and build trust. I'm going to refer you back to those four. That whole such section of training. Um, workshopping you through this podcast. But I really want to emphasize that. When people feel heard, they feel valued. And I don't know if I just came up with that just now, or if I heard it somewhere. It just came popped in my head. So if it's somebody else's words, I'm sorry. Cause I don't know. But I just, when I think about it, when I think about my time with families, Um, There are certain tactics I had to use sitting in that seat. To make sure I checked myself. To make sure that I was doing and practicing active listening. And the way I did that. Is by making sure that I blocked out. All distractions that. Wood. Take away. My focus on the family. Some days I was more successful than others because sometimes in my office where we actually had a couch and a coffee table and families could relax and talk. Um, for the most part, when I was a sales manager in a community. Um, I was still get buzzed, even though my might staff knew that. Um, the concierge and other managers, that there was a visit happening. Like a family was visiting with me. Sometimes they would forget and still buzz or people would knock on the door or things like that. But that's where you put those things in place, whether it's a sign. Whether it's a reminder texts to everybody, Hey, I have such and such family member here. I'll be in here, stop by and see us, you know, cause you want your staff to come in to see and to introduce themselves. But when it came to that personal one-on-one time, everybody knew that first 30 minutes was me talking with the actual family, caregiver and or resident. Um, and establishing and building that trust even more. And to do the active listening part. I had to sometimes. Even do. And you guys, you can't see me if you're listening on the podcast on your car, but I'm doing. Ooh. You know how that was said, like that yoga thing you're sitting in. You know, your hands are going out and you're lucein. And so sometimes I would have to do that. Before. Picking up a phone and calling or, or answering, you know, a new inquiry that was happening, whether it was somebody that was coming in. And I knew, and I had five minutes to, after I did my rounds, made sure everything was good. Um, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you want to talk about the first impressions that was on a former episode that we just did on this 21 day series. Um, I believe it was episode number two or three out, put that down there at the prepare method for when you're visiting or when, you know, preparing for a tour. Visits is what I call it. Um, But that five minutes before. I would quiet myself. So that I can have a clear mind. And so that even though I have done this and talked to. Oh, God, I don't know. Now, um, but let's say hundreds of families, probably thousands now. What's. I had to do was practice. That I knew nothing in terms of. The past, when it comes to. Um, Being focused on that person, meaning this, when that person came in. I made sure it was nothing. But all about them. Regardless that I've heard a similar story 50 million times before that. Yeah, I know what's going to happen here because I see the signs. Yes. Either the person had dementia or the person was a fall risk or the person was lonely or the person was whatever it was. Chances are. I have probably heard it before. It's at a certain level. Once I got to a certain level. But. I would say to myself, This is this person's first time. Regardless if it was my hundred and 51st time. Is there first time. And I would have to put my. Listening cap on. And listen to the words that was coming out of their mouth. And be engaged with them. Because that is how you build trust is by actually taking in what that person is saying. And to be honest, there was always something new. So I loved what I did. I loved, loved loved it because. I you might've heard on the former episodes. I always felt like this is my chance to be Barbara Walters and I get to ask questions and get answers and really dig deep into people's lives. And what was Barbara Walters famous for doing. It's like at the end, everybody be crying. You. You know, and so that's what I, I wouldn't make, trying to make people cry by no stretch of the imagination, but just by having people revisit the former self of their loved one. Would sometimes make them teary-eyed and if you are really helping people go down and dig deep into their emotions of. Why. This is such a hard decision for them and that you were there to hold their hand. And that you were there to help them transition. And one word I would, or one phrase, I would always say family, tell families, I'm sorry. Is. Whether I am the right place. For you or not? I want you to relax because I am here to help you. Whether you choose me or not. That is not. The focus here. The focus here is to find out what your needs are. And if I can guide you to where you need to go. I'm going to do that in full transparency. So you can kind of relax, let your guards down a little bit, and let's just have an honest discussion of what's happening in your mom or dad or grandma's life, whatever it was. And let me see how I can help. And by doing that. All of a sudden, almost instantly you can actually. Fill their breathing. Go to hell. Phil, the CYA for leaf their shoulders are. Or down now. And now we can get to the nitty-gritty. Now let's talk. You told me that, and then I'm going over my inquiry form. Tell me more about this portion of it. All right. And then you said, you know, Now, I know she's living at home, but. What. You know, um, what is she thinking about this? So now I'm digging deeper. The questions that I asked I'm referring back to their answer. And then I am listening. For their response. When I do that, that shows people number one, that I've listened to them already before. But whether it's on the phone in the beginning. Or while they're in front of me or in my followup. I am not just listening to the words that they say. But the sentiment, the feelings, the emotions. And the words they are not saying. And the only way you can do that is through the practice of active listening. Is that all right? You guys are still with me. I hope you are. So we're going to go through just basic steps, right? Because this is so essential, but the basic steps is basically you want to focus, which I pretty much already said. Um, I'm fully on the family and avoid as many interruptions as you can find that quiet place. If you're in a residential assisted living. What area in the home. Has the least traffic and its most private. For me the worst place to do an inquiry or show a family around or anything like that. Is to do it where people can hear that person's personal information like. I hope those who are building new places have an area that families can meet with them. Um, if it's like a little side area, something, it should feel very warm, comforting, well lit. Um, a place where you could have a clipboard and take some notes, um, because in the professional setting, I will say professional setting, meaning like in the corporate arena. There is a. Uh, thing is basically called sits. Um, Basically they say, sit towards it is what they say tour. Um, but. I say, you know, I like the initial sit because it gives me an opportunity. Meaning the initial face-to-face, it gives me an opportunity to really go over what their needs are. To make sure that I didn't miss anything on the initial conversation. It gives me an opportunity to address their concerns. Find out more of what their fears are. Um, drill down maybe on the, um, financial, you know, aspect of it. Um, So. I like that. I like doing that. Sometimes I've had to reverse it. Where the person is on their lunch. They don't have a whole lot of time. I still always did like five minutes of a little sit, gave them the agenda, what we're going to do. Um, and then came back. So I still had that cadence it's I don't know. It was just deep inside me because I've. I think I've done it like a thousand times thinking about it now, if not more. Um, but it always seemed to flow better when it was, when it happened that way. There are some times where we actually did the whole visit first meaning having them look around based off of what they showed, you know, we discussed on the initial, um, Um, inquiry. You know, the discovery. Um, and then we would sit after we looked around and then do what would initially be the initial conversation, um, afterwards. And then we would go through everything and then they would leave. So it's just different depending on the families and what their needs are. So focusing fully on what people are saying is the way to do active listening. Using affirmations like nodding. Um, answering them back. You know, that was one of the things I remember on the mystery shop calls is that someone would say something like absolutely. Shocking. And the person's like right on the next question. Bam. Didn't even didn't even acknowledge that they just said, oh, my mom fell last week. She had to be rushed to the ER. And they said she had a, um, Cracked. Um, um, FEMA. It's a FEMA. Oh, God, I can't even think of the words anymore. That she broke her leg and, um, my mom fell. Last week, she went to the ER, broke her leg and, um, she will be a recovery for six weeks and then personal says, okay, well, what does she like to eat? And you're like, did you not hear just what happened? Because they're so focused on the next question. They there, they weren't listening. There should have been a response like. Oh my God. How is she doing? How is she feeling like you would think that's natural. But when you are in your mind, thinking about. Your next words, when you're thinking about your next step, when you think about your next goal, when you feeling stress and pressure because of staff. You know, calling out and you have something else over here to do, and, and you are like, I'm down this many residents. How am I going to pay my bills next month? And how am I. I'm going to meet payroll and all these things going on in your mind. And the family is here and telling you their whole life story. And you're like, I hear you. But do I really hear you? And so when you are nodding, acknowledging, using affirmations, it is showing that you are active listening and it will help put you back into check. You want to reflect back on their key phrases and basically what their concerns are and to validate. Uh, their, their concerns, right? So people also. You know, I don't know if I even need assisted living when somebody would say right. Um, mom is fine at home. Um, there's only one time that she forgot to left the stove on and I told her mom don't still do that anymore. Um, I, and I left her a sticky notes everywhere, so she's fine at home. And you're sitting there and you're listening, like, okay, so your mom left the stove on. And so now if you just go on to the next question, it's like, you almost dismissed everything. You didn't really hear. So there should be further things, you know, like, oh, well how many times have she left the stove on that? You have to put a sticky note on. And what does it mean when you have sticky notes everywhere? Like, so there should be more engagement. There should be, oh my gosh. You see? Okay. Or what's happening here. And so that is a part of active listening. And then asking those clarifying questions, just like I did. Right. Um, tell me more about that. Clarify, when you say you have sticky notes everywhere, like, do you have just two or three or are you talking about like more than 15. And, you know, oh, they're all over the house just to keep her as a reminder, but she's, she, she doesn't have real memory issues. I love that. Right. You know? No. You're like, oh my God, but you can't. Be like that you have to be engaged and you have to be like, okay, Tell me more. Tell me more. And I would hear someone on bus. Sometimes craziest stuff and I, and I be just writing it down. And I write, not every word they say, but I would write it in bullet points, you know, so help. Me with my memory recall. And I let them talk and let them, you know, And I'll ask, keep asking, you know, Questions like don't talk, whatever. And then it's at the end. I'm like, okay. So I'm going to go back to this. You said that you have to put sticky notes all over the house for your mom. How long. You know, sometimes it just depends. Like, you know, do you think that's that's how long sustaining is that? So now I'm going over the hot. The bigger picture. At the moment I might say, well, how many sticky notes. This is you putting over aisle over there. And when you know, what kind of, what are the, some of the sticky notes reminders of, and I saw, I might do the clarifying questions kind of in between that. But then I would go at the end and then do the high level. So you said you're doing all of this. How long do you think this will go on? How many more sticky notes are you going to put up? Around her before she might even get confused with all the sticky notes. And they were like, oh, I didn't think about that. Yeah. Cause you know, your mom's aging. And when you have too many sticky notes, now she may not be able to decipher which one is for wedge, right? I mean, I'm, I'm just saying, like, tell me more. So now this is me, you know, so I'm constantly having this engaging conversation with families. Um, and so. Another way I engage with by body posture. How was my body? Leaning in a little bit, my ear to them, towards them, half of that's because I'm a kid from the eighties and I wore headphones. Do you remember the Walkman? Does anybody remember that? And so I really believe my ears are damaged because of that, because now I have to lean in a little bit, but. It's just your, your body posture should also show and look like you are doing active listening. And I believe it's like almost a trigger to you. That you actually are. Right. It's kind of helps you to really focus in, at least it does for me. Everybody's different though, right? The listening cues that you have should be something like. Um, If I hear you correctly. I, if I understand what you're saying is, um, Tell me. From what you said. So now you're showing and you're practicing. The those, those things cause you now you're rephrasing what they're saying back to them. And sometimes that is the breakthrough for people. Is when they hear back to themselves, what they said. In a summary format. You see what I'm saying? So. We are here. Like I tell people. I tell people all the time. That. When I'm hiring for sales teams. That this isn't just a sales team. This is a job. And for you owners out there, it's a business for you management companies as a job and business possibly. That requires. More than the simple sale. The simple marketing. You are a counselor. You are a psychologist. You are a social worker. You are a sales professional. You are. A cheerleader for your staff. You are human resources. You know, like you are a trainer, like you are all these things. In your new found business and or position. And. These are the things. That is going to help you. To move forward with that. So listening QS is that. Pause briefly to. Slowing down your pace. Helps with making sure that you are listening. Making sure that the family is doing most of the talking. It should be like a 70, 30 or 80, 20 rule, 80% of them. Is talking, you're asking the questions, writing and listening. If you're talking too much. Then. You're not getting the right answers. Because now you're doing most of the talking, which I have found is the hardest thing with, at least with my sales teams. They, you know, That being quiet and listening in. Asking really good questions. And listening. Regurgitate it back. Listening again, like that's, that's the cadence. Um, and then. Avoid offering solutions to early. This is another biggie that people do all the time. And so as soon as somebody gives a situation, Sometimes it's our human nature, especially if you're very passionate about this, to want to help and given the immediate solution. And if you remembered what I just said before is I would, I would hear the craziest stuff and I'm just writing. Writing. Writing. And then I would go back. And then do. Well, I understand that mom fell six. Times in the last eight weeks. From what you said, this is your maiden. My biggest concern about this. And you also said that. This is something that your brother may not be in agreement with. I'm making this up. So go with me. Okay. Um, and then I also understand that you are worried about the financials and how are you going to afford this? Well, I'm going to break this up into three, those three pieces and those three concerns based on what you said. Firstly, this is how we handle our residents who are a higher risk of falling and the mitigation efforts that we take in the community. Two. Try our best. To minimize that. Happening. Cause you can never guarantee somebody. They will not fall. So make sure you're not doing that. Oh, they won't fall with us. No, don't do that. You're walking into a lawsuit by doing that. So that's a side note. I just saved you probably 200, 300, maybe a million dollars right there. But don't ever tell anybody that. But the thing is, is that. You, you have, you know, you're, you're breaking those things down, but you waited until they said everything they needed to say, you regurgitated it back to them. And now you're offering the solutions that is a Salesforce. Right. That is how we do it. We want to help them to fully express themselves. And even when they did this, is there any other concerns? That's one of the questions I always just ask too. Is there any other concerns you have? Is there anything else you need to tell me? That's going to help me to better assist you with, with the, you know, Making a decision for your mom. Is there anything that you think you might've left out? You know, so I'm asking questions. Um, you know, to make sure that I got a really clear picture that I'm telling them the picture that they've given me. Back, and then I'm offering the solutions. So that is how I did it. Um, so some of the things I'm just going to go through with you guys is. You know, um, Practice mindful listening. Just really be present and focused. That is, is we're going to wrap this operate. Use the reflective techniques that I talked about earlier. Um, one of the things I love. Love love. Love is always asking more questions and being more curious. The more curious you are, the more information you can gather, the more things you can do to help families go through, go. You know, transition. And the convert. Your calls, that's looking for a place to actual residents. Um, always observed the family, his body language, and always make sure that your body language is showing that you're listening. Okay. If anything, I could tell you this. Resist the urge to fill the silent blanks. Sometimes in those silent blanks. Of spaces, not awkward blanks, but it can feel awkward. But that's where a family is processing the information, what they're going through, their stress, their disappointment, their guilt, the realization that they're going through these things and having to make this decision. Of how the heck did we get here? And I promised my wife, I would never do this or all the things that's happening. And they're having this realization. And it is. Up to us to give them that space and that time. Uh, to, um, reflect. And the way to do that sometimes is. That silence. Don't feel like you have to fill all the space. And talk. Remember, we talked about the 70, 30 rule, 70, 30, 80 10 rule. 70 30, 70, 80% them. 20 to 30% you. You want to listen? And at the end, the summary and the confirmation. So if this was helpful, please like share and subscribe. The YouTube channel right there. If you are listening to me on the actual podcast, if you could follow the podcast, leave a review. If you're finding this helpful, if this is something that you. Are like holy cow. I tried it, and this is what happened. I want to hear that. So please let me know what strategy that you utilize throughout these whole 21 days. But. In each one here where you realize that, oh my gosh, through active listening, I was able to uncover this, um, you know, Or that or whatever it is. So I want to hear the stories of what I'm doing and saying is helping you. And so the way to do that is by leaving a review on the podcast. Give me the four or five, whatever stars. Um, and also by following me on YouTube to get the alerts of when new episodes come out or new videos. So with that, I say, thank you. I'm trying my hardest you guys to get this under 15 minutes and I am struggling. I'm a struggling check over here. I guess because I'm talking so much, right. But I want you to have this information. I think it's important. I don't want anyone to struggle out there. If you have a senior living home, a residential assisted living. If you are even in home health or home care. Um, and you are like, I'm stuck. Um, I'm here. I'm here, here, here. Um, been through all of this, you know, I have hospice. Um, not experienced, but we work with them, right. Hospice providers and the home health. You know, providers and home care and all types of senior living from independent living assisted living and memory care. Oh, that. I have worked with or collaborate with, or have worked in. So. Anytime you have questions. Um, definitely DME, um, through whatever platform I pay attention to LinkedIn, YouTube. Um, Facebook as well as Instagram. So I'm, I'm, I'm where you want me to be. Um, and then don't forget to join the group. We do have an actual group it's assisted living mentorship group on Facebook is absolutely free. And you are welcome to come in there and answer a few questions. I will ask for your email because I want to make sure that you are legit. And, um, and there'll be free opportunities and trainings in there as well. So, thank you so much again, I appreciate you guys and speak to you again.